VOLUNTARY EJACULATION

A few fortunate, and likely quite popular men, have learned to make ejaculation voluntary. This means they can last a long time and come when they want to. Most however ejaculate involuntarily—perhaps prematurely, that is, before they or their partner are ready for it.

Coming too soon may be due to a physical medical condition, but this is not common. Most men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned behavior and sexual beliefs, or because they haven’t discovered the simple techniques that can help them last.

In order to make ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do two things. First he must learn to keep his entire body relaxed regardless of how sexually aroused he becomes. Second he must learn to move the sexual charge that builds up during lovemaking away from his genitals and circulate that energy throughout his entire body.

Relaxation

Men usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.

Massage
Few things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual charge does not get stuck in your genitals.

Stop And Become Still Or Slow Down
Before you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking.

Breathe Slowly And Deeply
As you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.

Avoid Stimulating The Frenulum
The frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just below the glans head on the underside of your penis. This spot is very easily excitable and can build the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid involuntary ejaculation.

Squeezing The Glans
The glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis shaft. When ejaculation is imminent you or your partner can squeeze the glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base where the penis rises from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off the neurological ejaculatory response from your brain to your prostate and will stop the ejaculation. This technique is easiest to use when your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split second timing. Do not do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be quite painful!

Three Finger Perineum Press
When you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where the vibrations are strongest - usually at about the midpoint on the perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do this yourself or your partner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

MOVING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

Learning to circulate hot sexual energy is not really difficult, but it takes discipline and practice. Within a few days of trying some of the techniques mentioned below you’ll likely notice an improvement in your ability to delay ejaculation. Real sexual energy mastery, however, may take several months or even years. But unlike childhood piano lessons this is practice you’ll look forward to!

The PC Pump
PC stands for pubococcygeus muscle. Actually the PC muscle is a group of muscles that together make up the pelvic diaphragm which stretches from your pubic bone around to your tailbone. It includes muscles used in urination and bowel movements, muscles around your anus, testicles, penis, and perineum. Pumping the PC muscle is one of the easiest, simplest and fastest ways to learn to move energy and delay ejaculation. Pumping the PC muscle means squeezing or contracting the muscle and then allowing it to relax repeatedly. Alternately you can squeeze and then push out. You can do rapid pumps or long slow ones.

When you squeeze the PC muscle you pump the hot sexual energy up from your genitals and into the upper part of your body. This prevents the sexual energy from building up to involuntary ejaculation. If you can stay relaxed and move energy away from your prostate as fast as it builds up, you can delay ejaculation as long as you want. This is how Tantric lovers are able to extend active lovemaking for 6 or 8 hours or more. By the way, strengthening your PC muscle usually results in longer and stronger ejaculations when you do have them.

Add PC pumping to your fitness routine. Build up to several hundred squeezes per day over a two week period and eventually (if you are really keen) increase to 1000 or more per day. This might sound like a lot but you can do 100 PC squeezes in a few minutes. You don’t even need to find new time to do PC pumps—try them when you are standing in line, driving your car, hoisting a few at the bar.

Make Sound
As you get more and more excited make lots of sounds. You can moan, groan, yell, scream, chant, sing, growl and make animal noises. The louder and stronger the sounds you make the more that sound will carry your sexual energy with it, up and away from your genitals. A wonderful technique is to harmonize your chanting sounds with your lover. When you do this at the peak of sexual arousal the sounds you make together can be exquisitely beautiful.

Hand Movements
Moving your hands up your body, or having your partner move her hands up your body from your genitals to the top of your head, either on the front or back of your body, is an amazingly simple but effective way to move energy. You and your partner can do this repeatedly throughout the length of your lovemaking.

The Big Draw
You can alternate relaxing your body with a conscious full-body contraction—the Big Draw. Breathe very deeply and rapidly for about a minute when you are almost ready to come. Then hold your breath and clench every muscle in your body. Tighten you fists. Curl your toes. Grit your teeth. Tighten your buttocks, abdomen, arms, legs, chest, etc. If you are lying on your back (recommended for doing the Big Draw), push off from the surface with your buttocks and neck, while arching your back. This forces the hot sexual energy up and often leads to an explosive orgasm without any ejaculation. You may also experience altered states of consciousness with this very powerful technique.

LEARNING THROUGH MASTURBATION

Masturbation is an excellent way to become skilled at lasting a long time. Select a private, comfortable, safe place for your practice where you will not be interrupted. A wonderful variation is to have your partner watch you masturbate. In this way you can teach her exactly how you like to be touched and stimulated. But try it a few times alone before you put on a show for your lover.

Build your arousal to approximately 75% of the way to the point of no return. As you get better at it, you can go closer to 90% or more. The point of no return is that point at which ejaculation will become involuntary, when you’re likely to ejaculate within seconds, most certainly within minutes. Stop what you are doing. Use some of the techniques above for relaxation and energy movement and allow your excitement to subside. Your erection should also subside before you start again. This allows the old blood to move out of the penis taking with it waste products. When you start to re-build your arousal, fresh blood will engorge the penis giving you a new erection. This new blood carries with it a fresh supply of oxygen and hormones bringing strength, vitality and virility. Many men ejaculate simply because they do not allow their erection to diminish every 30-45 minutes—the penis becomes exhausted and involuntary ejaculation follows quickly.

Repeat this masturbation process of building to approximately 75% of your point of no return, then stop, rest, and build again, for any number of times. As you do this pay very careful attention to what is happening in your body. Notice how your body feels as you get closer and closer to orgasm. Notice that your body gives you signals about how close to ejaculation you are: heat and hardness of your erection, rapid breathing, muscular tension, and so on. In particular look for sensations in your genital area at the prostate gland. As your sexual energy builds in the prostate it is like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, smooth muscles go into involuntary spasm, forcing the ejaculation. If you pay attention you will certainly feel something in the prostate as you approach this point of involuntary ejaculation. As soon as you feel this sensation, instead of going on to complete the ejaculation, you are going to stop stimulating yourself and rest. Notice how your body feels as you relax and let the energy (and erection) subside. Once you become adept at recognizing this feeling in your prostate during self-pleasuring, you can also be alert to this feeling during lovemaking, including active intercourse with a partner.

OTHER TECHNIQUES FOR MASTERING EJACULATION

Positions
Change intercourse positions frequently. Experiment with various positions to find out if you can more easily delay ejaculation in some of them. There are an infinite variety of positions in the following categories: face to face, front to back, lying down, standing up, sitting, rear entry, and sideways. Some men report that it is easier for them to last longer during intercourse if the woman is on top. Also, face to face positions tend to be calmer, making it easier for the man to delay ejaculation, while rear entry positions tend to increase arousal very rapidly.

Communicate With Your Lover
You must communicate your state of arousal to your lover. If your arousal is cresting too rapidly ask her to change what she is doing, to stop what she is doing or to slow down. Give her very specific feedback on what you want and what you can stand. Be sure to do this in a loving, respectful and playful way! Some women believe that men aren’t happy with the lovemaking until they come. Let her know that you’re having a great time and want to keep on sharing your pleasure together.

Examine Your Beliefs And Assumptions About Sex And Women
Generally the more you like, respect and admire women the easier it will be to learn voluntary ejaculation. On the other hand, the more you dislike women the more difficult it will be. The simple reason for this is that you will be in a hurry when you have sex if you dislike women. Sex will tend to be a maintenance chore necessary for tension release.

With a subtle shift in the way you think, perhaps you can begin to make love instead of just having sex. Open yourself to giving and receiving pleasure rather than trying to perform. Open your heart. Allow yourself to love your partner and be loved by her. Allow yourself to feel emotions as well as physical pleasure. Quick ejaculation is one of the ways men use to deny themselves pleasure and to avoid intimacy. Extended, ecstatic lovemaking requires surrendering and being vulnerable to your partner. Many men find that when they can let go of the need to keep everything under control, including lovemaking, their ejaculation response becomes much more manageable. It is ironic that less repressive control of feelings means more “control” or mastery of ejaculation response.

SORE PROSTATE

If after practicing techniques for delaying ejaculation you experience a sore prostate or “blue balls”, this only means that the sexual energy is building up in your genitals faster than you can move it out. This is not dangerous, simply uncomfortable. You can relieve this discomfort immediately by ejaculating, which releases all the pressure. If the discomfort does not go away, this may mean you have a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, and you should see your doctor.

How to Make Her Really Want You

What man wouldn't be thrilled by the idea of an attractive woman being filled with strong desire for you? As long as you are not talking about underage participants then a WOMAN pursuing a man is okay in my book (Ok, as long as it is asked for).

In fact, I highly recommend promoting this act of passionate discourse. How? How do you get a woman to want to rape you�jump your bones� attack the sack? You must first understand that women are a sensitive breed and they trust their instincts. So you must appeal to a woman's instincts and by that you must appeal to her SENSES.


Sense Sational

It is amazing how much key information you readers amass here for free. My only hope is that our efforts here are not in vain. If you read and don't try (apply) then you will never fully comprehend how simple attracting the opposite sex can be by simply following patterns, paying attention to "them" and repeating your efforts under the "numbers game" theorem.

A woman only has five (5) senses. You have 5 opportunities to turn her on and appeal to her. You must not worry about what you don't own or what you do for a living. Real women WANT to be turned on and your social status will have little to do with it in a one-on-one conversation. When you have an opportunity to have that 1-on-1 then don't waste it on bad jokes or bad breath. Make the most of it and know that over that next few minutes all of her 5 senses are hard at work checking you out.

1) Sight - If you look good you feel good and if you feel good you look good. That means that what you wear is as important as how you carry yourself. If you have a crappy outfit on but are smiling and happy and affable to all then she will see less of your exterior and see more of your interior. This is not to say you should not be apparel conscience because your apparel should "appeal" as well. Women are fashion savvy so just remember when it comes to dress, "don't set trends and don't break rules" and SMILE A LOT.

2) Smell - Lift your arm up right now and smell your armpit and your hands. Do your hands and pits smell like yesterday? Cologne and aftershave are "personal" choices. Choose fragrances that flatter your natural smell and most importantly: A women should only smell your cologne if you are within "handshake" distance from her - any farther and you reek. Now lick the back of your hand three times - if you do this you can smell what your own breath smells like. Also, "pheromones" are essential to attraction so if you stink like cologne she might not pick yours up. Less is more.

3) Hear - How you speak to a female is so very important. First and foremost if SHE is talking then you are golden. She will hear that you are interested in her by what you ASK HER or talk about. Smile often and look her in the eye so she thinks you are sitting on every word. When she asks you a question or finishes her own answer then immediately ask her another question about herself. People like to talk about themselves. She will take your good listening behavior as a turn on because you appear interested in HER. When you do speak - now it is important to appeal to HER HEARING. Speak clearly, not loudly, use soft tones when possible and shorten your stories to the most interesting points. Don't be afraid to paint pictures that are suggestive. Instead of telling a story of you going "swimming" tell a story of you going "skinny dipping". That "sounds" sexier.

4) Touch - Everybody has their own "bubble" and when a female does not know you yet she does not want you in hers. However, if you look and smell good and are a good listener then by this point it is safe to say she is a little more comfortable now. "Handshake length" is how close you should stand or sit next to a woman you have NOT been intimate with yet. You sit close enough for her to see, smell and hear you but you sit this close so if she decided to touch you then she could with ease. If you two are chatting in a bar etc. then you should only touch her on the arm and only when making a point in your story or if you two share a laugh. She might do the same. If she is walking in front of you then when you open a door for her only touch her on the lower back. These show "respect" in touching and lets her know you want HER in YOUR bubble.

5) Taste - You are thinking how I can get a girl with my taste buds. Well, I just told you in the last 4 paragraphs. You see "manners and etiquette" fall under the taste umbrella. If you are in the presence of a female that is interested in you and you follow the last four paragraphs then TASTE will be the topper. Tease her. Your polite, mannered behavior will tease her because now she is in front of a well dressed, well spoken, sweet smelling, non invasive male who is a good listener. At this point - if she is really interested - make her wait - tease her as long as you can because my friend she wants to rape you.

Wow, did we really get there that fast? Is it really that simple? We just have to smell good, listen well and be confident? Women will jump our bones if we listen to their stories and excite their olfactory? Yes, yes and yes again. The truth in this formula is that when you "excite" a sense you in fact turn it on. The more senses of a female that you can "turn on" the harder it will be to turn her off. She will feel, smell and see all of your strong traits that she likes and will embrace them literally. So when she bum rushes past "handshake length" to rape you make sure you show good taste and thank her.

The art of long-term sexual compatibility

The days of first dates and excitement are long gone and you are feeling as though sex will not be exciting any more. However, there are couples who manage to experience sparkles even after 20 years of living together. There are few of them-all because maintaining good sexual relationships requires time and efforts. The best way to turn long-term routine into long-term good sex is to keep in mind some simple rules.

1.Be open to each other

At the initial stage of the relationship, we are used to the feeling of anticipation and close our eyes on details we consider minor. We are happy to HAVE sex and the only possibility of physical intimacy titillate our body to a mere presence of the beloved one. However, sexual obsession with each other is not long term. Reality of sex much more complex than what a hot erotic movie shows us.

There are a lot of situations were you need to tell about inconvenience or how you wish your partner to act in so many intricate situations. You may not always like what your partner does and vice versa. Very often we hide things that should be discussed openly out of fear to hurt your partner's feelings, when in fact we breed dissatisfaction.

2.Accept the differences

We are the one- one completes the other. This sounds good for a good novel -not for real sexual relationships. Just like each of us has his own individuality, our sexual needs can be different too. This doesn't mean he is pervert and you are normal or otherwise. Your partner has its own physical urges and they may be not all like yours.

Accepting your partner's differences doesn't mean you should do things that go against your will or your own desires. You should not panic to know that your mate may like something that you consider unusual or "disgusting". Your differences is strong engine to move both of you forward, and developing your relationships.

3.Become closer emotionally

Sex is closely connected with our attitude towards each other. You may be tempted to make up with your partner after a quarrel, but as practice shows sex is not a solution to other problems and won't bring you together if you haven't talked over the difficult matter first. Good sex is about having understanding on other levels and this first of all refers to emotional connection.

Don't make a habit to have sex when you are nervous or worried just to release from tension. It's better at least to calm down first and take things step by step.

4.Get off the beaten path

When you started dating, you both didn't think much about sexual compatibility. With the time, many couples are well aware of the ways to satisfy each other's urges the best possible way. However blissful it may seem, sex that goes according to a well-known scenario son becomes no more exciting than brushing your teeth.

You may ask- why try new things if you know one sure way to bring each other to the highest peak of pleasure? It's simple - there can be even better than you thought. Your preferences may change, you may find new sources for satisfaction. Even if some ideas seemed weird at first, later it can become your favorite.