Sex Guide - Atmosphere

Atmosphere

It is argued by many that ambience plays just as big a part in a love making experience as any other aspect of sex and yet it is often completely overlooked.

The key to creating the right atmosphere is to think about the five senses and try to create an atmosphere that appeals to all of them. Now, obviously if you just fancy a 'quickie' in the back of a Ford Cortina then you're unlikely to care about stimulating the senses but if you do care about the atmosphere in which you're having sex then read on for some great ideas...

Beginning with touch, it is important to make sure that the environment in which you are making love is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Think about the basics such as bed linen and then use your imagination a little and explore the use of sex toys or touchy-feely stuff like feathers. Also, remember that food such as whipped cream or chocolate sauce can be a very tasty addition to the experience. Finally, if your partner is willing and their pain threshold is pretty high, then take their senses to the extreme using ice or hot candle wax (be very careful).

To appeal to your partner's sense of smell, try burning some scented candles. Just make sure that you don't go overboard and stink the place out or burn it down; you don't want the flames of passion to be interrupted by a fireman's hose. If candles aren't your thing then try flowers instead; they're more subtle but they will help make any room smell nice. Finally, don't forget to make sure that you are smelling your best – try sharing a shower with your partner before making love or just keep it simple and use some deodorant.

Now then, taste – the hardest of the five senses to affect when it comes to making love but while we're on the subject did you know that you can actually change the taste of semen? Well, you can; the trick is to change what you eat and drink before making love. As a general rule, bland foods like pasta and potatoes improve the taste of sperm whereas curry, beer and coffee produce the worst taste. Obviously taste needn't just be about bodily fluids; you can also introduce food and drink into a lovemaking experience. It's unlikely that a cheese and pickle sandwich will do much to turn your partner on but edible underwear or chocolate flavoured body paint may do the trick.

The one sense that everyone is well aware of is sight. Whether it be the sexy underwear, candle light or body image, everyone is very aware of the visual aspect of sex. But, how many of you consider changing the actual place in which you have sex? Well, for a great psychological kick, try changing your location. Try a '69er' in the car, 'doggy style' on your way home from a night out or try the 'wheelbarrow' in the garden (just be careful to avoid the roses!). Alternatively, give the idea some thought and you'll soon realise that there's a world of opportunity outside your bedroom.

The final sense is that of hearing and the obvious way to appeal to this sense is through music. Whether it be the 'walrus of soul' Mr Barry White or the artist formerly known as Prince, almost everyone has a favourite artist that will 'get them in the mood'. The key is to find out what does it for your partner. When your pretty sure you've made the right choice (avoid hard house and heavy metal) put the CD, tape or whatever on loop (you don't want to stop mid session to restart the music). If you don't like music then try talking 'dirty' instead or perhaps even use video pornography if that works for you.

Sex Guide - Fore play

Foreplay

Preparation is key, so be prepared. That's a good lesson for life in general and a vital lesson for sex.

Great sex isn't just penetration – the build-up is a very important part. In fact most women can't reach orgasm without it. Foreplay makes the whole thing last much longer and, to be frank, is really rather good.

If just the thought of sex is enough to get you raring, slow down a bit – your partner may want to take a little more time. Women generally take longer to become sexually aroused than men; the fire needs to be stoked. Try and keep foreplay going until you both just can't wait for penetration.

Foreplay will increase the chances of orgasm for women and will produce a more intense one for men – so there's no reason not to do it really, is there? Those erogenous zones are there for a reason – make the most of them.

There are erogenous zones all over the body, not just in the genitals. Breasts, nipples, the neck, everywhere. Try kissing nibbling, rubbing and stroking your partner all over their body to find the places they like it best. Make sure the setting's right, atmosphere counts for a lot.

The build-up to sex can start hours before you actually get down to it. Call your partner up on the phone at work and start flirting (make sure you get the right number or the results could be disastrous. Then again... no, don't go there), by the end of the day you'll both be dying to leave work. Try a massage when you get home and build up to masturbation and other forms of stimulation.

The main thing is not to leave it out. There's a lot to be said for the 'quickie' and it has its place, but a long, lingering session is far more pleasurable.

Sex Guide - Condoms

Condoms

Love 'em or hate 'em they are a very good idea. Of course we would say that wouldn't we, but it's true all the same. With new technology and thinner, more sensitive condoms you would hardly know you were wearing one; they can even put a bit of spice into your sex life and remember that a little protection can go a long way.

They've been around for a while – but not as long as we've needed them – their earliest use seems to have been in ancient Egypt. The earliest signs of European condom use date from cave paintings in France and some historians claim that the Romans made them from the muscle tissue of warriors they had defeated in battle.

Don't let that put you off! They are now an essential part of modern-day living and protect from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies – they can even enhance love-making.

So here's how you put one on: first and foremost, make sure the penis is erect and also make sure you put it on before you get down to it rather then halfway through as fluids released from the penis during the early stages of an erection can contain sperm and organisms that can cause sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Check out the Clinic section of the main site for more information.

Before unrolling it, squeeze the teat at the end to release any trapped air and then roll it over the penis – make sure the roll is on the outside. While still squeezing the tip (of the condom – well, you never know) gently unroll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis.

Always make sure the condom stays in place during sex – if it rolls up, unroll it immediately and if it comes off, withdraw immediately and put another one on. After ejaculation, make sure that the penis and condom are withdrawn while the penis is still erect, holding the condom at the base of the penis to stop it slipping off.

Don't use the condom again and don't flush it down the low; just wrap it in a tissue and put it in the bin.

They come in all shapes and sizes and you can use different condoms for different occasions. Durex even have an Easy On range which is shaped like the penis and is more comfortable and easier to roll on. Although another shameless plug, it's also relevant and useful so here goes: visit the Products section of the main site to see a great range of what's available.

source : durex.com

sex guide - salacious starter

Massage

Sensual massage is an ancient practice, practised by ancient and young alike. It combines the physical with the spiritual and, if done well, can be just as sensual and sexual as you want it to be.

The key to giving and receiving a good sensual massage is preparation. Now, going back a few centuries, this would have probably meant killing a nearby wildebeest and lighting a big fire but today things are a little more complicated (although having said that, killing a wildebeest proves quite complicated for most). The experts suggest that in order to really relax, you should light some scented candles, put a romantic CD on loop, lay down a clean sheet, get some fresh towels at the ready and turn off your mobile phone!

You will also need some massage oil. Talking of oil, it's important to remember that oil can erode latex condoms and so it's important that you use a non-latex one such as Durex Avanti (check out the Products section of the main site) if it's going to come into contact with the oil.

Now, before you go any further, it is important to talk to your partner so that they know exactly what a sensual massage is. Describe it as a leisurely, languorous, lustful activity which involves nudity and intimate touching – and some alliteration too by the sound of it!

So here goes. To get things going, start by lightly stroking your partner's body with the tips of your fingers (start on your partner's back). Take your time, don't rush. If you do then you're wasting your time and a great opportunity into the bargain. Move from one area of your partner's body to another covering the shoulders, arms, thighs, calves and buttocks.

Once your partner is completely relaxed – not asleep – begin the sensual massage by pouring about two tablespoons of massage oil into your hands and then rub them together until the oil is warm. This is very important as you don't want your partner shrieking and spoiling the mood. Now, use your hands to make long, gliding strokes over your partner's body making sure you check with your partner that the pressure's OK.

When you've covered all the key areas of your partner's body, (shoulders, arms, thighs, calves and buttocks) switch from long gliding strokes to short deep strokes. To make deep strokes you will need to use your body weight rather than your arm strength but remember to be gentle; this is not WWF wrestling and your partner will not be impressed by your well executed 'body slam'.

As you work your way around your partner's body using short deep strokes, remember to massage their feet, brush over their buttocks and if you're massaging a female partner, make sure you gently stroke her breasts. When you think the time is right, begin working your way very slowly down your partner's legs gliding your hands as you go. Brush past your partner's genitals, teasing your partner by stroking their inner thigh. Finally, when the erotic energy has had time to build, demand your turn or shift the focus from massage to more explicitly sexual activities such as masturbation.

VOLUNTARY EJACULATION

A few fortunate, and likely quite popular men, have learned to make ejaculation voluntary. This means they can last a long time and come when they want to. Most however ejaculate involuntarily—perhaps prematurely, that is, before they or their partner are ready for it.

Coming too soon may be due to a physical medical condition, but this is not common. Most men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned behavior and sexual beliefs, or because they haven’t discovered the simple techniques that can help them last.

In order to make ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do two things. First he must learn to keep his entire body relaxed regardless of how sexually aroused he becomes. Second he must learn to move the sexual charge that builds up during lovemaking away from his genitals and circulate that energy throughout his entire body.

Relaxation

Men usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.

Massage
Few things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual charge does not get stuck in your genitals.

Stop And Become Still Or Slow Down
Before you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking.

Breathe Slowly And Deeply
As you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.

Avoid Stimulating The Frenulum
The frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just below the glans head on the underside of your penis. This spot is very easily excitable and can build the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid involuntary ejaculation.

Squeezing The Glans
The glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis shaft. When ejaculation is imminent you or your partner can squeeze the glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base where the penis rises from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off the neurological ejaculatory response from your brain to your prostate and will stop the ejaculation. This technique is easiest to use when your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split second timing. Do not do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be quite painful!

Three Finger Perineum Press
When you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where the vibrations are strongest - usually at about the midpoint on the perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do this yourself or your partner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

MOVING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

Learning to circulate hot sexual energy is not really difficult, but it takes discipline and practice. Within a few days of trying some of the techniques mentioned below you’ll likely notice an improvement in your ability to delay ejaculation. Real sexual energy mastery, however, may take several months or even years. But unlike childhood piano lessons this is practice you’ll look forward to!

The PC Pump
PC stands for pubococcygeus muscle. Actually the PC muscle is a group of muscles that together make up the pelvic diaphragm which stretches from your pubic bone around to your tailbone. It includes muscles used in urination and bowel movements, muscles around your anus, testicles, penis, and perineum. Pumping the PC muscle is one of the easiest, simplest and fastest ways to learn to move energy and delay ejaculation. Pumping the PC muscle means squeezing or contracting the muscle and then allowing it to relax repeatedly. Alternately you can squeeze and then push out. You can do rapid pumps or long slow ones.

When you squeeze the PC muscle you pump the hot sexual energy up from your genitals and into the upper part of your body. This prevents the sexual energy from building up to involuntary ejaculation. If you can stay relaxed and move energy away from your prostate as fast as it builds up, you can delay ejaculation as long as you want. This is how Tantric lovers are able to extend active lovemaking for 6 or 8 hours or more. By the way, strengthening your PC muscle usually results in longer and stronger ejaculations when you do have them.

Add PC pumping to your fitness routine. Build up to several hundred squeezes per day over a two week period and eventually (if you are really keen) increase to 1000 or more per day. This might sound like a lot but you can do 100 PC squeezes in a few minutes. You don’t even need to find new time to do PC pumps—try them when you are standing in line, driving your car, hoisting a few at the bar.

Make Sound
As you get more and more excited make lots of sounds. You can moan, groan, yell, scream, chant, sing, growl and make animal noises. The louder and stronger the sounds you make the more that sound will carry your sexual energy with it, up and away from your genitals. A wonderful technique is to harmonize your chanting sounds with your lover. When you do this at the peak of sexual arousal the sounds you make together can be exquisitely beautiful.

Hand Movements
Moving your hands up your body, or having your partner move her hands up your body from your genitals to the top of your head, either on the front or back of your body, is an amazingly simple but effective way to move energy. You and your partner can do this repeatedly throughout the length of your lovemaking.

The Big Draw
You can alternate relaxing your body with a conscious full-body contraction—the Big Draw. Breathe very deeply and rapidly for about a minute when you are almost ready to come. Then hold your breath and clench every muscle in your body. Tighten you fists. Curl your toes. Grit your teeth. Tighten your buttocks, abdomen, arms, legs, chest, etc. If you are lying on your back (recommended for doing the Big Draw), push off from the surface with your buttocks and neck, while arching your back. This forces the hot sexual energy up and often leads to an explosive orgasm without any ejaculation. You may also experience altered states of consciousness with this very powerful technique.

LEARNING THROUGH MASTURBATION

Masturbation is an excellent way to become skilled at lasting a long time. Select a private, comfortable, safe place for your practice where you will not be interrupted. A wonderful variation is to have your partner watch you masturbate. In this way you can teach her exactly how you like to be touched and stimulated. But try it a few times alone before you put on a show for your lover.

Build your arousal to approximately 75% of the way to the point of no return. As you get better at it, you can go closer to 90% or more. The point of no return is that point at which ejaculation will become involuntary, when you’re likely to ejaculate within seconds, most certainly within minutes. Stop what you are doing. Use some of the techniques above for relaxation and energy movement and allow your excitement to subside. Your erection should also subside before you start again. This allows the old blood to move out of the penis taking with it waste products. When you start to re-build your arousal, fresh blood will engorge the penis giving you a new erection. This new blood carries with it a fresh supply of oxygen and hormones bringing strength, vitality and virility. Many men ejaculate simply because they do not allow their erection to diminish every 30-45 minutes—the penis becomes exhausted and involuntary ejaculation follows quickly.

Repeat this masturbation process of building to approximately 75% of your point of no return, then stop, rest, and build again, for any number of times. As you do this pay very careful attention to what is happening in your body. Notice how your body feels as you get closer and closer to orgasm. Notice that your body gives you signals about how close to ejaculation you are: heat and hardness of your erection, rapid breathing, muscular tension, and so on. In particular look for sensations in your genital area at the prostate gland. As your sexual energy builds in the prostate it is like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, smooth muscles go into involuntary spasm, forcing the ejaculation. If you pay attention you will certainly feel something in the prostate as you approach this point of involuntary ejaculation. As soon as you feel this sensation, instead of going on to complete the ejaculation, you are going to stop stimulating yourself and rest. Notice how your body feels as you relax and let the energy (and erection) subside. Once you become adept at recognizing this feeling in your prostate during self-pleasuring, you can also be alert to this feeling during lovemaking, including active intercourse with a partner.

OTHER TECHNIQUES FOR MASTERING EJACULATION

Positions
Change intercourse positions frequently. Experiment with various positions to find out if you can more easily delay ejaculation in some of them. There are an infinite variety of positions in the following categories: face to face, front to back, lying down, standing up, sitting, rear entry, and sideways. Some men report that it is easier for them to last longer during intercourse if the woman is on top. Also, face to face positions tend to be calmer, making it easier for the man to delay ejaculation, while rear entry positions tend to increase arousal very rapidly.

Communicate With Your Lover
You must communicate your state of arousal to your lover. If your arousal is cresting too rapidly ask her to change what she is doing, to stop what she is doing or to slow down. Give her very specific feedback on what you want and what you can stand. Be sure to do this in a loving, respectful and playful way! Some women believe that men aren’t happy with the lovemaking until they come. Let her know that you’re having a great time and want to keep on sharing your pleasure together.

Examine Your Beliefs And Assumptions About Sex And Women
Generally the more you like, respect and admire women the easier it will be to learn voluntary ejaculation. On the other hand, the more you dislike women the more difficult it will be. The simple reason for this is that you will be in a hurry when you have sex if you dislike women. Sex will tend to be a maintenance chore necessary for tension release.

With a subtle shift in the way you think, perhaps you can begin to make love instead of just having sex. Open yourself to giving and receiving pleasure rather than trying to perform. Open your heart. Allow yourself to love your partner and be loved by her. Allow yourself to feel emotions as well as physical pleasure. Quick ejaculation is one of the ways men use to deny themselves pleasure and to avoid intimacy. Extended, ecstatic lovemaking requires surrendering and being vulnerable to your partner. Many men find that when they can let go of the need to keep everything under control, including lovemaking, their ejaculation response becomes much more manageable. It is ironic that less repressive control of feelings means more “control” or mastery of ejaculation response.

SORE PROSTATE

If after practicing techniques for delaying ejaculation you experience a sore prostate or “blue balls”, this only means that the sexual energy is building up in your genitals faster than you can move it out. This is not dangerous, simply uncomfortable. You can relieve this discomfort immediately by ejaculating, which releases all the pressure. If the discomfort does not go away, this may mean you have a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, and you should see your doctor.

THE MYSTIQUE OF FEMALE ORGASM

In the history of western cultures, nothing has greater mystique than women's sexuality and, specifically, female desire and female orgasm. Although we are gradually progressing beyond the age-old notion that women are not supposed to have sexual pleasures (but merely be the willing vehicle for men's indulgences), many women are still uncomfortable owning and enjoying their sexual pleasures, desires, fantasies, and sources of erotic satisfaction.

Women experience their orgasmic potential in many ways, and this potential is almost as varied as each individual. However, in this culture, we often have a stereotyped image of what a woman's orgasm "should" look like. This image, influenced largely by male-oriented books, magazines and "hardcore" movies, is quite misleading and often becomes a hindrance to the woman who needs to develop her own orgasmic pleasures in whatever way suits her as an individual.

Clinical sexologists and sexual scientists define orgasm as an experience that affects the entire body involving pleasurable waves of energy, preceded by engorgement with blood of the genitals and nipples, and often accompanied by involuntary muscular contractions, changes in breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, skin color, as well as the release of chemicals in the brain causing temporarily altered states of consciousness.

Many women find that genital arousal is their favorite way to achieve orgasm. For some women, arousal results most intensely from direct stimulation of the clitoris. For others, the clitoris may be too sensitive to be touched directly and stimulation of the surrounding vulval structures may be preferred. For some women, the clitoris retracts and almost disappears as it becomes engorged with excitement. For others, the clitoris becomes more visible with excitement, filling with blood and becoming "puffed up" like the labia and the nipples.

For some women, genital arousal results most intensely from direct stimulation of the vaginal canal by a finger, a sex toy, or a penis. Many women find that the anterior wall of the vagina is especially sensitive, forming the so-called "G-spot" that can make vaginal play intensely pleasurable. For other women, the walls of the vagina seem almost without sensation. Anatomically, the sensitive roots of the clitoris extend back to the anterior wall of the vagina, so women may find one or the other or both forms of genital stimulation satisfying.

There are many variations in female anatomy that are important to consider. For example, in some women the clitoris is located relatively close to the vaginal entrance making insertive play directly stimulating to the clitoris. In others, this distance is greater, with the result that insertion of a penis, for example, does not provide sufficiently direct clitoral stimulation. In some women, the G-spot is relatively close to the vaginal entrance, in others the distance is greater, and this makes a difference in terms of what sort of penis, sex toy, or digital penetration is preferable for vaginal or G-spot stimulation.

Orgasm can occur without genital stimulation at all. Many women find themselves having orgasms in response to fantasies or exciting dreams. Many women find that they can orgasm when non-genital parts of their bodies are pleasurably stimulated. Recent scientific studies have demonstrated how orgasms can be enjoyed by spinal-cord injured women who are without genital sensation. This, in itself, shows how wonderfully varied women's orgasmic capacities can be.

When orgasm occurs, some women experience an "ejaculatory" response in which a small amount of fluid is expelled from glands located just above the vaginal entrance. This fluid is not urine, but a special substance chemically similar to the man's pre-ejaculate. Only about 25% of women ever experience this "ejaculation." Those who do should not feel embarrassed by it. Trying to stop the ejaculation will only lessen your pleasure, and may well prevent you from having orgasms at all.

Some women experience orgasm as a single event. Most women have the potential to become multi-orgasmic, experiencing a succession of orgasms during an episode of sexual play. Some women rarely experience orgasm, or may never do so. If you are one of these women, try not to think of yourself as "non-orgasmic." Rather, try to think of yourself as "pre-orgasmic," as a woman whose range of sexual pleasures could be enhanced.

Find out what you enjoy, what sensations give you the most satisfaction, and devote time to cultivating these experiences. Feeling a sense of trust and safety with your own bodily pleasures (and with the behaviors of your partner) is often necessary for orgasm, which usually requires a "letting go" of conscious control over bodily excitement. Out of anxiety, some women unconsciously prevent their orgasms, or lessen their intensity, sometimes by "holding their breath" and blocking the potentially pleasurable flow of energy through the body.

Discovering what you like, and giving pleasure to yourself, is the best way to start enriching your sexual life. Don't be shy about using sex toys such as vibrators. They are a wonderful way to learn about your body and your erotic preferences. Consult a clinical sexologist if you feel the need for help in overcoming obstacles to your pleasure.

Remember, no one can tell you how to have an your orgasm. The way you will experience the best pleasure is the way that is right for you. Orgasmic pleasure is just for you. Start by finding it for yourself. Later you can always share your joys with a partner of your choice.


By Dr. Barnaby B. Barratt, PhD, DHS, ABPP, FAPA
Director of the Midwest Institute of Sexology

9 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE

Make Sexuality a Priority
Our sexuality is as much a part of health and well being as eating and exercise. Make time for your sexuality.


Celebrate Your Sexuality 
The major reason people come to see a sexologist is because they feel shameful or guilty. Sex is energy. Let go of shameful and guilty thoughts or behaviors that keep you from expressing yourself.

Keep a Sex Journal                                                           

Identify your sexual outlets and patterns. Notice who or what got you sexually excited. How many times did you think about sex? How many times did you masturbate that day. How did you masturbate? How long did you masturbate? What sensations did you notice in your body and your mind during, before and after the act? What do you want to try?

Masturbation
Most people who masturbate also rate a higher sexual satisfaction. Not only is it safe and fun, it allows for self-exploration. If you know what you like/dislike, you can better communicate to someone else.

Be a Dreamer
Most of our sexuality is in our mind. We can be, do and have whoever we want in our fantasies. Some of the most outrageous experiences all started with a dream. Some people use fantasies as a safe place to practice and experiment for the “real thing”, while others are happy keeping it as a fantasy and nothing more. Either way, it is a very healthy practice.

Take a Sexual Inventory
Take out a piece of paper, date it and list all the sexual acts and adventures you have done or heard about. Then, write “yes, no, or maybe” next to each of them. Most people haven’t given thought to their sexual boundaries and opportunities. It’s also useful in opening the doors for communication and determining sexual compatibility with another person.

Ask for What You Want
We should be able to ask for what we want sexually with the same ease we ask someone to pass the salt. Asking for what we want helps us get our needs met AND get consent. Don’t get discouraged. It’s a lifelong practice.

Engage in Pleasure Daily
The more we seek pleasure, the more we are able to recognize, appreciate, and ultimately realize that life IS pleasure. Sex is pleasure.

Hire a Sex Coach
Everyone should have a sex coach. My coaching is a process that allows the client to set and achieve their own desired goals and outcomes. Using a talk model, I listen without judgment and offer tools that will help you be successful and always with integrity.


source : http://www.egratification.com

Dr. Sonia Borg's background is in the art and skill of communication. She has coached over a thousand people to increase self-awareness, overcome their fears, and be better communicators. Her interest in studying sex began when she noticed how difficult it was to talk openly and honestly about sex. This lead to her studies at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. Her research studying erotic dancers taught her about female empowerment, self-expression, and fantasy as being important to our sexual selves. She is a contributing author and editor to the book “Erotic Moves.” She earned her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is now a sex coach in San Diego