10 tips for safer & Smarter sex

It is always smart to talk about sex with your partner, a peer educator or a healthcare professional before you make the decision to have sex. While sexual intercourse always involves some risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease, there are definitely ways of making your sexual experiences safer. Here are 10 simple things you can do, say and think about now before you have sex:

Who's "Covering Up" Under the Covers?: Smarter Sex Survey reports that 48 percent of students say they used condoms when they had intercourse in the last year. Click here for more survey results.

1. Talk smart sex first. Have smart sex later. STIs and unintended pregnancies affect both partners, not just one person. If you feel uncomfortable discussing sex and birth control with your partner, then you shouldn't be having sex! Be straightforward and talk about sex beforehand so both partners know what to expect. It's easier to be rational and reasonable before you're in the "heat of the moment!"

2. Two are better than one! To help prevent both pregnancy and STIs, you should correctly and consistently use a birth control method like the Pill, Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection or diaphragm (for pregnancy prevention) and a condom (to prevent STIs). Condom use is essential, especially in relationships that are not monogamous. If your partner says no to contraceptives that may prevent STIs, like condoms, it's probably time to rethink your relationship. Nothing is worth the potential lifetime consequences of a few minutes of unprotected fun.

3. Don't feel pressured to have sex. Or have sex out of fear - fear of hurting someone's feelings by saying no or fear of being the "only one" who isn't doing it. Virtually everyone wants to fit in with his or her friends, but you should never compromise your values to be "part of the crowd." If you don't want to have sex, be honest, discuss the reasons behind your decision with your partner and stay true to you.

4. Don't abuse alcohol/use drugs if you think things could get physical. Drug use or alcohol abuse interferes with decision-making, which can lead to date rape, forgetting to use contraceptives or contracting an STI. The lowering of inhibitions that often accompanies alcohol use might make you think you'll enjoy sex more, but in fact, for a variety of biochemical reasons, too much alcohol actually makes sex less enjoyable for both men and women.

5. Use the buddy system. If you go to a party or a bar, go with friends and keep an eye out for each other. Agree that you won't leave with another person without telling someone. Sometimes a friend's "second opinion" could help prevent you from making decisions that you might regret later.

6. Remember that "no" means NO and passed out doesn't mean YES. Being drunk isn't a defense for committing sexual assault or a reason for being a victim of sexual assault. If you are too drunk to understand a person trying to say no; if you are too drunk to listen and respect a person saying no; or if you have sex with somebody who is passed out or incapable of giving consent, it can be considered rape. Click here to read about how men and women can avoid the consequences of date rape.

7. Respect everyone's right to make his/her own personal decision - including yourself. There is no imaginary "deadline," no ideal age, no perfect point in a relationship where sex has to happen. If your partner tells you that he or she is not ready to have sex, respect his/her decision, be supportive and discuss the reasons behind it. It is everyone's ultimate right to decide when and how they have sex - be it the first time or the tenth time.

8. Be prepared for a sex emergency. Consider carrying two condoms with you just in case one breaks or tears while it's being put on. Both men and women are equally responsible for preventing STIs, using contraceptives and both should carry condoms. Sometimes things go wrong even when you try to do everything right. Maybe the condom broke or you forgot to take your birth control pill. Whatever the reason, women should know about emergency contraception or EC. Taken within 72 hours of intercourse, EC may prevent pregnancy. Click here for more information about EC.

9. The best protection doesn't mean less affection. Abstinence is actually the most effective way to protect against STIs and prevent pregnancy. But practicing abstinence doesn't mean you can't have an intimate physical relationship with someone - it just means you don't have vaginal or anal intercourse. There are many other ways to be intimate and not have intercourse - just be aware that alternatives, like oral sex, carry their own risks. Click here to read more about practicing abstinence and risks of oral sex.

10. Make sexual health a priority. Whether you are having sex or not, both men and women need to have regular check-ups to make sure they are sexually healthy. Women should have annual gynecological exams. In fact, most campus doctors book months in advance - make your appointment today!(source : smartersex.org)

Your Orgasm — Guaranteed!

When it's a mind-blowing, bed-rattling orgasm you're after, keeping it simple is absolutely key. Sure, wild, crazy, never-knew-my-body-could-bend-that-way booty keeps your lust life exciting, but if the goal of the moment is to break pleasure records, you have to stick to the basics. "Trying to accomplish complicated acrobatics distracts you from the sex itself, putting your focus on how you can contort yourself, rather than on just experiencing the sensations," explains sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I (Heart) Female Orgasm. "When you want to climax, the simplest positions are often also the best positions, and with a few modifications, you can make them even more orgasm inducing than they already are." Don't worry, we'd never leave you hanging. Here, Cosmo custom-designed some of the carnal classics to make sure you always hit the high notes.

The Slow Climb


You'll never see missionary position the same way again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half," says Solot. This move allows him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration — a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this a warm-up — you're getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. "He's on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris," says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "Then he rocks against the area until you peak." "The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone," adds Brame.

The dwon dog
You've probably tried an all-fours pose before (at least, we hope you have!). But while mentally the doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. "Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you," suggests Solot. "Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you." Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

69 Tips for the Brave!

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Sex Guide - The G - Spot

The G-spot

The G spot is one of the high spots of many a love-making experience. It was discovered in 1950 but unlike most newly-discovered areas, this one wasn't found by your typical beardy explorer with gangrene and frostbite.

Gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg is the chap: he found a highly erogenous zone inside the vagina that gets bigger when directly stimulated. This discovery caused quite a sensation, as you can imagine, but his revelation was doubted for quite some time.

The male G spot is the prostate gland (more of that later) but the female one is still under debate by many and not all ladies seem to have one. However, it's worth looking for so read on...

Ladies, you can look for it yourself or have someone look for you – either way the first stimulation of the G-spot can be quite uncomfortable. Empty your bladder first and try to relax into the sensation as the feeling should pass. And make sure your vagina is well lubricated.

The easiest position to find your G-spot yourself is to squat on the loo. Insert your finger into your vagina, curving it towards your navel. Feeling around should cause the G-spot to swell and make it easier to pinpoint. The considered view states that it is around the size of a large pea (not the large pee you had just beforehand).

Now it's time for someone else to have a go: lie down on your back, knees bent and have a small pillow under your buttocks. The rest of it's pretty much the same as above – make sure you let your partner know when they've found it.

Stimulating the G-spot can cause ladies to ejaculate a small amount of white or clear fluid and, combined with clitoral stimulation, can prove to be the most satisfying of orgasms. The 'doggy' position is the best for G-spot stimulation as the front wall of the vagina receives more pressure this way.

Gentlemen – yes, you have a G-spot too. It's quite hard for you to find your own what with it being up your rectum but those of you supple and brave enough to try should attempt the following: lie on your back with knees bent and feet on the floor (if this proves unsuccessful, try drawing your knees up to your chest).

Using plenty of lubricant put in your thumb and press it against the front wall of the rectum. However, it's much easier if you get someone to find it for you. Assume the same position and get your partner to insert a lubricated finger, feeling up the front wall of the rectum until they touch something that feels like a walnut.

Bingo! You can now start massaging firmly in a downward direction. Many men claim that G-spot orgasms are more intense and that rather than ejaculating in spurts, they produce a continuous stream.

So there you go: wash your hands, apply some lubricant and away you go. It's always advisable to wash hands again if they have been inside a rectum as you can inadvertently transfer bacteria to other parts of your or their body afterwards. Don't be shy – it's worth a look and could change your sex life!

Sex Guide - Masturbation

Masturbation

Rarely discussed and often practised. 94% of men do it and 80% of women do it – although men do it twice as often as women. These figures drop only slightly after marriage – men at 72% and women at 68%. So there you go – it's all around you.

There's no real need to explain how to do it to yourself nor is there really any need to describe how to do it to your partner – ask them to show you. This can be very erotic, indeed it is the fuel of many a male fantasy, and can shake off many inhibitions.

Start by showing each other one technique that you use on yourself and then give your partner a go. You can use masturbation to bring your partner to climax or take them only part of the way and move on to another activity. It can also be a good way of learning about your own sexual responses – learning how to postpone ejaculation during masturbation, for example, can make men better lovers.

Lubricants can aid masturbation as can dildos – the only limits are your imagination. When you're on your own it allows for the wildest fantasies and when you're with your partner it shows them just how you like to be touched.


source: Durex.com

Sex Guide - Atmosphere

Atmosphere

It is argued by many that ambience plays just as big a part in a love making experience as any other aspect of sex and yet it is often completely overlooked.

The key to creating the right atmosphere is to think about the five senses and try to create an atmosphere that appeals to all of them. Now, obviously if you just fancy a 'quickie' in the back of a Ford Cortina then you're unlikely to care about stimulating the senses but if you do care about the atmosphere in which you're having sex then read on for some great ideas...

Beginning with touch, it is important to make sure that the environment in which you are making love is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Think about the basics such as bed linen and then use your imagination a little and explore the use of sex toys or touchy-feely stuff like feathers. Also, remember that food such as whipped cream or chocolate sauce can be a very tasty addition to the experience. Finally, if your partner is willing and their pain threshold is pretty high, then take their senses to the extreme using ice or hot candle wax (be very careful).

To appeal to your partner's sense of smell, try burning some scented candles. Just make sure that you don't go overboard and stink the place out or burn it down; you don't want the flames of passion to be interrupted by a fireman's hose. If candles aren't your thing then try flowers instead; they're more subtle but they will help make any room smell nice. Finally, don't forget to make sure that you are smelling your best – try sharing a shower with your partner before making love or just keep it simple and use some deodorant.

Now then, taste – the hardest of the five senses to affect when it comes to making love but while we're on the subject did you know that you can actually change the taste of semen? Well, you can; the trick is to change what you eat and drink before making love. As a general rule, bland foods like pasta and potatoes improve the taste of sperm whereas curry, beer and coffee produce the worst taste. Obviously taste needn't just be about bodily fluids; you can also introduce food and drink into a lovemaking experience. It's unlikely that a cheese and pickle sandwich will do much to turn your partner on but edible underwear or chocolate flavoured body paint may do the trick.

The one sense that everyone is well aware of is sight. Whether it be the sexy underwear, candle light or body image, everyone is very aware of the visual aspect of sex. But, how many of you consider changing the actual place in which you have sex? Well, for a great psychological kick, try changing your location. Try a '69er' in the car, 'doggy style' on your way home from a night out or try the 'wheelbarrow' in the garden (just be careful to avoid the roses!). Alternatively, give the idea some thought and you'll soon realise that there's a world of opportunity outside your bedroom.

The final sense is that of hearing and the obvious way to appeal to this sense is through music. Whether it be the 'walrus of soul' Mr Barry White or the artist formerly known as Prince, almost everyone has a favourite artist that will 'get them in the mood'. The key is to find out what does it for your partner. When your pretty sure you've made the right choice (avoid hard house and heavy metal) put the CD, tape or whatever on loop (you don't want to stop mid session to restart the music). If you don't like music then try talking 'dirty' instead or perhaps even use video pornography if that works for you.

Sex Guide - Fore play

Foreplay

Preparation is key, so be prepared. That's a good lesson for life in general and a vital lesson for sex.

Great sex isn't just penetration – the build-up is a very important part. In fact most women can't reach orgasm without it. Foreplay makes the whole thing last much longer and, to be frank, is really rather good.

If just the thought of sex is enough to get you raring, slow down a bit – your partner may want to take a little more time. Women generally take longer to become sexually aroused than men; the fire needs to be stoked. Try and keep foreplay going until you both just can't wait for penetration.

Foreplay will increase the chances of orgasm for women and will produce a more intense one for men – so there's no reason not to do it really, is there? Those erogenous zones are there for a reason – make the most of them.

There are erogenous zones all over the body, not just in the genitals. Breasts, nipples, the neck, everywhere. Try kissing nibbling, rubbing and stroking your partner all over their body to find the places they like it best. Make sure the setting's right, atmosphere counts for a lot.

The build-up to sex can start hours before you actually get down to it. Call your partner up on the phone at work and start flirting (make sure you get the right number or the results could be disastrous. Then again... no, don't go there), by the end of the day you'll both be dying to leave work. Try a massage when you get home and build up to masturbation and other forms of stimulation.

The main thing is not to leave it out. There's a lot to be said for the 'quickie' and it has its place, but a long, lingering session is far more pleasurable.