10 tips for safer & Smarter sex

It is always smart to talk about sex with your partner, a peer educator or a healthcare professional before you make the decision to have sex. While sexual intercourse always involves some risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease, there are definitely ways of making your sexual experiences safer. Here are 10 simple things you can do, say and think about now before you have sex:

Who's "Covering Up" Under the Covers?: Smarter Sex Survey reports that 48 percent of students say they used condoms when they had intercourse in the last year. Click here for more survey results.

1. Talk smart sex first. Have smart sex later. STIs and unintended pregnancies affect both partners, not just one person. If you feel uncomfortable discussing sex and birth control with your partner, then you shouldn't be having sex! Be straightforward and talk about sex beforehand so both partners know what to expect. It's easier to be rational and reasonable before you're in the "heat of the moment!"

2. Two are better than one! To help prevent both pregnancy and STIs, you should correctly and consistently use a birth control method like the Pill, Depo-Provera Contraceptive Injection or diaphragm (for pregnancy prevention) and a condom (to prevent STIs). Condom use is essential, especially in relationships that are not monogamous. If your partner says no to contraceptives that may prevent STIs, like condoms, it's probably time to rethink your relationship. Nothing is worth the potential lifetime consequences of a few minutes of unprotected fun.

3. Don't feel pressured to have sex. Or have sex out of fear - fear of hurting someone's feelings by saying no or fear of being the "only one" who isn't doing it. Virtually everyone wants to fit in with his or her friends, but you should never compromise your values to be "part of the crowd." If you don't want to have sex, be honest, discuss the reasons behind your decision with your partner and stay true to you.

4. Don't abuse alcohol/use drugs if you think things could get physical. Drug use or alcohol abuse interferes with decision-making, which can lead to date rape, forgetting to use contraceptives or contracting an STI. The lowering of inhibitions that often accompanies alcohol use might make you think you'll enjoy sex more, but in fact, for a variety of biochemical reasons, too much alcohol actually makes sex less enjoyable for both men and women.

5. Use the buddy system. If you go to a party or a bar, go with friends and keep an eye out for each other. Agree that you won't leave with another person without telling someone. Sometimes a friend's "second opinion" could help prevent you from making decisions that you might regret later.

6. Remember that "no" means NO and passed out doesn't mean YES. Being drunk isn't a defense for committing sexual assault or a reason for being a victim of sexual assault. If you are too drunk to understand a person trying to say no; if you are too drunk to listen and respect a person saying no; or if you have sex with somebody who is passed out or incapable of giving consent, it can be considered rape. Click here to read about how men and women can avoid the consequences of date rape.

7. Respect everyone's right to make his/her own personal decision - including yourself. There is no imaginary "deadline," no ideal age, no perfect point in a relationship where sex has to happen. If your partner tells you that he or she is not ready to have sex, respect his/her decision, be supportive and discuss the reasons behind it. It is everyone's ultimate right to decide when and how they have sex - be it the first time or the tenth time.

8. Be prepared for a sex emergency. Consider carrying two condoms with you just in case one breaks or tears while it's being put on. Both men and women are equally responsible for preventing STIs, using contraceptives and both should carry condoms. Sometimes things go wrong even when you try to do everything right. Maybe the condom broke or you forgot to take your birth control pill. Whatever the reason, women should know about emergency contraception or EC. Taken within 72 hours of intercourse, EC may prevent pregnancy. Click here for more information about EC.

9. The best protection doesn't mean less affection. Abstinence is actually the most effective way to protect against STIs and prevent pregnancy. But practicing abstinence doesn't mean you can't have an intimate physical relationship with someone - it just means you don't have vaginal or anal intercourse. There are many other ways to be intimate and not have intercourse - just be aware that alternatives, like oral sex, carry their own risks. Click here to read more about practicing abstinence and risks of oral sex.

10. Make sexual health a priority. Whether you are having sex or not, both men and women need to have regular check-ups to make sure they are sexually healthy. Women should have annual gynecological exams. In fact, most campus doctors book months in advance - make your appointment today!(source : smartersex.org)

Your Orgasm — Guaranteed!

When it's a mind-blowing, bed-rattling orgasm you're after, keeping it simple is absolutely key. Sure, wild, crazy, never-knew-my-body-could-bend-that-way booty keeps your lust life exciting, but if the goal of the moment is to break pleasure records, you have to stick to the basics. "Trying to accomplish complicated acrobatics distracts you from the sex itself, putting your focus on how you can contort yourself, rather than on just experiencing the sensations," explains sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I (Heart) Female Orgasm. "When you want to climax, the simplest positions are often also the best positions, and with a few modifications, you can make them even more orgasm inducing than they already are." Don't worry, we'd never leave you hanging. Here, Cosmo custom-designed some of the carnal classics to make sure you always hit the high notes.

The Slow Climb


You'll never see missionary position the same way again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half," says Solot. This move allows him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration — a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this a warm-up — you're getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. "He's on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris," says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "Then he rocks against the area until you peak." "The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone," adds Brame.

The dwon dog
You've probably tried an all-fours pose before (at least, we hope you have!). But while mentally the doggie-style position has great bad-girl benefits, in order to make it actually orgasmic, you need to modify it a bit. "Lie on your stomach, lifting your butt slightly so he can enter you," suggests Solot. "Your partner can prop himself up with his hands in a push-up position or lie on top of you." Not only does this facedown configuration provide increased friction as he moves in and out, but you can gently grind your clitoral area against the bed as well.

69 Tips for the Brave!

Here's some handy hints for the sexual adventurers amoung you

1 Do a Dirty Den, and have sex on a webcam (not actually on a webcam; in front of a webcam).

2 Ask for anal. Gently tickle the area and ask if she's considered it. If she is keen, go gently with your finger at first until she's fully relaxed.

3 If she says no to anal, don't just slip it in protesting, 'Oops! Wrong hole!' Girls got wise to that quite a while ago...

4 Get her to tie a stocking around the base of your cock before it's hard, and then give you a blowjob. Just as you're about to come, she should pull it a little tighter, to intensify the orgasm. Now untie it! You don't want it dropping off!

5 Have sex in a taxi. Or at least see how far you can get before the cabbie throws you out. Or starts to enjoy it a little too much... in which case, throw yourselves out.

6 Invest in a Tongue Joy Oral Vibrator from www.blissbox.com. Strap it on to your tongue, turn it on and watch her go mental.

7 Sit on top of the washing machine while you have sex: she should go on top, with her legs around your waist. The vibrations will reach right to your old chap and turn you into a human vibrator!

8 Bite her. Not hard - it's not a remake of Silence Of The Lambs! Gentle biting brings blood to the surface of the skin and makes it really sensitive. A good basic rule is: no drawing blood.

9 Use more than one finger inside her - this needs to be led by her, though, regarding how many should go in at once. A word of warning: most girls aren't keen on the whole fist.

10 Have sex with a bisexual woman and her lesbian friend. You might not convert her, but it'll be something you never forget. Go to a gay-friendly boozer and see what happens.

11 Use your nose as part of oral sex on her. Try rubbing it on her clit for maximum effect.

12 Give a new lease of life to your girl's pearl necklace (yep, the actual jewellery), by getting her to wank you off with it. Apply loads of lube, and then get her to loosely wrap it around your shaft and move it up and down.

13 Stop worrying about it, and have sex with your best female friend. Who cares if you'll regret it? You'll still have had sex!

14 Have your cock pierced, to experience what it's like having sex with a ring through your bell-end (wait for it to heal before road testing).

15 Ask your girlfriend to tie you up, blindfold you, gag you and let her do whatever she wants.

16 Go to a lesbian club. The good ones are basically full of women getting off with each other. Yes, basic and puerile. But who cares, it's girls kissing!

17 Arrange to kidnap your girlfriend, take her to your house and have your way with her. Obviously she should know about this in advance.

18 Watch your girlfriend have sex with another man. This is only for the extreme voyeurs out there, and those who aren't the jealous type.

19 Have sex in your parents' bed. You've got to be fast, you've got to be accurate and you've got to be clean. Get the job done and get out.

20 Get rimmed. The only rules are that it's got to be hygienic and hairless.

21 Get her to put a finger in your arse while you're having sex. If you hate it, she can whip it straight out, but as the male G-spot's up there, why not? Free your mind (and your sphincter).

22 Film yourself wanking and send it to your girlfriend. Make sure she doesn't circulate it to all of her friends.

23 Sing while you're going down on her. The vibrations from your voice and throat will drive her bonkers. We suggest 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

24 Eating strawberries off her body may be romantic, but surprise her by getting out a cucumber and suggesting you use as a dildo. Make sure you wash it first!

25 Pretend you're a sex addict and go to a meeting. Just hearing all those filthy stories should keep you going for ages.

26 Have sex in a hot-air balloon. Need we say more?

27 Try shagging a girl with her clitoris pierced, just to see what it's like.

28 Get a job as a roadie for a shit band - that way you can have sex with their reject groupies.

29 Leave your job and work as holiday rep. Lots of casual sex guaranteed.

30 Make your life complete by getting it on in the back seats of a football stadium. Let her sit on your lap and go up and down every time something exciting happens on the pitch. You'll need a blanket for this - and to not support a shit football team.

31 Get frisky in a public toilet. Although girls' toilets are much cleaner and sweeter smelling, you'll have fewer disruptions in the blokes'. Try to avoid the ones with piss-covered floors or glory holes.

32 Bugger the 'No Heavy Petting' signs, and get well in there at a swimming pool. If you're on holiday, try to sneak into your hotel pool in the middle of the night.

33 Stay in your motor as it goes through the car wash, and have quick, loud, rampant sex before it comes out the other end.

34 Get a blowjob from a woman with tongue piercings - it'll feel incredible.

35 Double penetrate her by using a dildo when you're having anal sex. This is best done in the doggy position.

36 Become a porn star and have sex with different women every day. Ensure you change your name and buy a disguise!

37 Buy a soft leather whip from Ann Summers and lightly whip her arse cheeks. Think erotic, not lion tamer.

38 Visit exotic locations where pro porn stars shag average Joes - yes, that means you! Ace! Go to www.pornweek.com!

39 Visit a nudists' holiday resort. We're not suggesting you have sex with the mainly German, overweight campers, but it could be a great turn on for you and your girlfriend.

40 Get a joint lapdance. By the end of it you'll forget about the dancer and be dying to rip the clothes off each other.

41 Go to an adult swingers' club together. You don't even have to join in, but if seeing other blokes eyeing up your missus gets your engine running, you'll be well away.

42 Pull someone else - with her permission. Pretend you're not together in a club, snog another girl who she's picked out for you and then go home with your hopefully turned on, and not psychotically jealous, girlfriend.

43 Get your lady to give you an all-over massage with a 'happy finish'. Not only will you save your hard-earned cash, but you won't risk being banged up.

44 Film the two of you having sex, put it on a DVD and when she comes around for dinner next, treat her to a screening.

45 If you're into watersports, and she's not fussed either, then do it in the bath.

46 While she's giving you a blowjob, take Polaroids of her in action. Not only will they turn you on there and then, but you can also flick through them when she's not around.

47 Don't hide your porn - show it to her and ask her if you can read/watch it together. She could get just as turned on by the filthy stuff as you. She could also chin you. Good luck!

48 Let her use a small vibrator on your balls during sex.

49 Have 'stranger sex', but with each other. Arrange to meet in a bar but arrive separately and pretend you don't know each other. After eyeing each other up, take her home without even asking her name.

50 Book into a seedy hotel for the weekend and refuse to get out of bed at all.

51 Ask her to go out wearing a mini-skirt and no kickers. Not only will you know she's going commando, but there's every chance somebody will see.

52 Try the direct approach. If you see a girl in a club, walk up, tell her you want her and see what happens. Warning: may take several attempts and slaps before you meet a like-minded soul.

53 Go along to a fetish club. The big ones like Torture Garden cater for everyone, from amateurs to full-on freaks. If you're not up for being tied to a rack, just watch everyone else be filthy buggers.

54 Forget paying someone to wax your girlfriend: get a razor and spend an evening shaving each other. It's strangely erotic and yet bollock-shrinkingly scary too.

55 Have a go in one of those sex swings. Easily bought online, you hang it from your ceiling , jump into the harness and away you go. Not for those who are prone to motion sickness.

56 Make your own porno film. Just filming the act itself is for pansies - get some costumes and devise a simple script including the phrases 'I've brought my tools round' and 'I've never seen one throb so much'.

57 Have anonymous sex. Websites like www.craigslist.org/about/cities have 'casual encounters' ads for people just wanting to arrange no-strings-attached shagging. And no, you don't have to pay!

58 Ask a girl to be your fuck buddy. It may take a while to find one who'll say yes, but when one does you'll get commitment-free sex on a plate. Worth all those 'fuck off, loser' comments!

59 Mix up the standard role-play with some freaky alternatives: judge and juror; Red Riding Hood and the big, bad wolf; grandma and the big, bad wolf, even...

60 Have a threesome, but where your girlfriend's totally in charge. She chooses the girl, location and what you do with each other. Never ask the other girl's name.

61 Get her to write a blog based on your sex life. Sites like www.blogspot.com are anonymous, but you'll know they're about you. Relive your sessions online, anytime!

62 Have a threesome with a total stranger. Advertise on a website, then you and your girlfriend choose a partner, meet in a pub and if she's as fit in the flesh as in her pics, you're away. Plus, you'll never ever run the risk of seeing her again. Unless you want to...

63 With your lady's consent, make a sex tape and leak it onto the internet. Nobody apart from your mates may care, but you'll at least gain local notoriety.

64 Ask your girlfriend to send you a mobile-phone clip of her masturbating while thinking about you. It'll be there to watch every time you get a bit bored. Just don't send it out to your phonebook by accident.

65 Ask your lady to join you down the boozer with your mates, wearing just her sexiest underwear, high heels and a raincoat. They'll be wondering why she doesn't take her coat off and only you two will know the truth...

66 Lonely? Single? Can't get a real girl? Then buy a doll. Companies in the States are selling 'real looking' dolls online, designed to your specification and even with the, er, right holes... Go to www.realdoll.com.

67 Pretend you're taking romantic pictures in a photo booth, but actually have her sitting on your old chap while you do. Not only will you get the thrill of getting caught (probably by some old gran waiting for her bus-pass picture), but also some filthy pictures!

68 Play Twister. Naked. And covered in water. You'll get into all sorts of fruity positions, and the slipping and sliding is bound to guarantee 'accidental entry'.

69 Try out spanking. Begin with gentle taps and get harder. Have a code word, so she can say when it's at the right level. As well as your hand, you can use a hairbrush, ruler or wet tea towel!

Sex Guide - The G - Spot

The G-spot

The G spot is one of the high spots of many a love-making experience. It was discovered in 1950 but unlike most newly-discovered areas, this one wasn't found by your typical beardy explorer with gangrene and frostbite.

Gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg is the chap: he found a highly erogenous zone inside the vagina that gets bigger when directly stimulated. This discovery caused quite a sensation, as you can imagine, but his revelation was doubted for quite some time.

The male G spot is the prostate gland (more of that later) but the female one is still under debate by many and not all ladies seem to have one. However, it's worth looking for so read on...

Ladies, you can look for it yourself or have someone look for you – either way the first stimulation of the G-spot can be quite uncomfortable. Empty your bladder first and try to relax into the sensation as the feeling should pass. And make sure your vagina is well lubricated.

The easiest position to find your G-spot yourself is to squat on the loo. Insert your finger into your vagina, curving it towards your navel. Feeling around should cause the G-spot to swell and make it easier to pinpoint. The considered view states that it is around the size of a large pea (not the large pee you had just beforehand).

Now it's time for someone else to have a go: lie down on your back, knees bent and have a small pillow under your buttocks. The rest of it's pretty much the same as above – make sure you let your partner know when they've found it.

Stimulating the G-spot can cause ladies to ejaculate a small amount of white or clear fluid and, combined with clitoral stimulation, can prove to be the most satisfying of orgasms. The 'doggy' position is the best for G-spot stimulation as the front wall of the vagina receives more pressure this way.

Gentlemen – yes, you have a G-spot too. It's quite hard for you to find your own what with it being up your rectum but those of you supple and brave enough to try should attempt the following: lie on your back with knees bent and feet on the floor (if this proves unsuccessful, try drawing your knees up to your chest).

Using plenty of lubricant put in your thumb and press it against the front wall of the rectum. However, it's much easier if you get someone to find it for you. Assume the same position and get your partner to insert a lubricated finger, feeling up the front wall of the rectum until they touch something that feels like a walnut.

Bingo! You can now start massaging firmly in a downward direction. Many men claim that G-spot orgasms are more intense and that rather than ejaculating in spurts, they produce a continuous stream.

So there you go: wash your hands, apply some lubricant and away you go. It's always advisable to wash hands again if they have been inside a rectum as you can inadvertently transfer bacteria to other parts of your or their body afterwards. Don't be shy – it's worth a look and could change your sex life!

Sex Guide - Masturbation

Masturbation

Rarely discussed and often practised. 94% of men do it and 80% of women do it – although men do it twice as often as women. These figures drop only slightly after marriage – men at 72% and women at 68%. So there you go – it's all around you.

There's no real need to explain how to do it to yourself nor is there really any need to describe how to do it to your partner – ask them to show you. This can be very erotic, indeed it is the fuel of many a male fantasy, and can shake off many inhibitions.

Start by showing each other one technique that you use on yourself and then give your partner a go. You can use masturbation to bring your partner to climax or take them only part of the way and move on to another activity. It can also be a good way of learning about your own sexual responses – learning how to postpone ejaculation during masturbation, for example, can make men better lovers.

Lubricants can aid masturbation as can dildos – the only limits are your imagination. When you're on your own it allows for the wildest fantasies and when you're with your partner it shows them just how you like to be touched.


source: Durex.com

Sex Guide - Atmosphere

Atmosphere

It is argued by many that ambience plays just as big a part in a love making experience as any other aspect of sex and yet it is often completely overlooked.

The key to creating the right atmosphere is to think about the five senses and try to create an atmosphere that appeals to all of them. Now, obviously if you just fancy a 'quickie' in the back of a Ford Cortina then you're unlikely to care about stimulating the senses but if you do care about the atmosphere in which you're having sex then read on for some great ideas...

Beginning with touch, it is important to make sure that the environment in which you are making love is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Think about the basics such as bed linen and then use your imagination a little and explore the use of sex toys or touchy-feely stuff like feathers. Also, remember that food such as whipped cream or chocolate sauce can be a very tasty addition to the experience. Finally, if your partner is willing and their pain threshold is pretty high, then take their senses to the extreme using ice or hot candle wax (be very careful).

To appeal to your partner's sense of smell, try burning some scented candles. Just make sure that you don't go overboard and stink the place out or burn it down; you don't want the flames of passion to be interrupted by a fireman's hose. If candles aren't your thing then try flowers instead; they're more subtle but they will help make any room smell nice. Finally, don't forget to make sure that you are smelling your best – try sharing a shower with your partner before making love or just keep it simple and use some deodorant.

Now then, taste – the hardest of the five senses to affect when it comes to making love but while we're on the subject did you know that you can actually change the taste of semen? Well, you can; the trick is to change what you eat and drink before making love. As a general rule, bland foods like pasta and potatoes improve the taste of sperm whereas curry, beer and coffee produce the worst taste. Obviously taste needn't just be about bodily fluids; you can also introduce food and drink into a lovemaking experience. It's unlikely that a cheese and pickle sandwich will do much to turn your partner on but edible underwear or chocolate flavoured body paint may do the trick.

The one sense that everyone is well aware of is sight. Whether it be the sexy underwear, candle light or body image, everyone is very aware of the visual aspect of sex. But, how many of you consider changing the actual place in which you have sex? Well, for a great psychological kick, try changing your location. Try a '69er' in the car, 'doggy style' on your way home from a night out or try the 'wheelbarrow' in the garden (just be careful to avoid the roses!). Alternatively, give the idea some thought and you'll soon realise that there's a world of opportunity outside your bedroom.

The final sense is that of hearing and the obvious way to appeal to this sense is through music. Whether it be the 'walrus of soul' Mr Barry White or the artist formerly known as Prince, almost everyone has a favourite artist that will 'get them in the mood'. The key is to find out what does it for your partner. When your pretty sure you've made the right choice (avoid hard house and heavy metal) put the CD, tape or whatever on loop (you don't want to stop mid session to restart the music). If you don't like music then try talking 'dirty' instead or perhaps even use video pornography if that works for you.

Sex Guide - Fore play

Foreplay

Preparation is key, so be prepared. That's a good lesson for life in general and a vital lesson for sex.

Great sex isn't just penetration – the build-up is a very important part. In fact most women can't reach orgasm without it. Foreplay makes the whole thing last much longer and, to be frank, is really rather good.

If just the thought of sex is enough to get you raring, slow down a bit – your partner may want to take a little more time. Women generally take longer to become sexually aroused than men; the fire needs to be stoked. Try and keep foreplay going until you both just can't wait for penetration.

Foreplay will increase the chances of orgasm for women and will produce a more intense one for men – so there's no reason not to do it really, is there? Those erogenous zones are there for a reason – make the most of them.

There are erogenous zones all over the body, not just in the genitals. Breasts, nipples, the neck, everywhere. Try kissing nibbling, rubbing and stroking your partner all over their body to find the places they like it best. Make sure the setting's right, atmosphere counts for a lot.

The build-up to sex can start hours before you actually get down to it. Call your partner up on the phone at work and start flirting (make sure you get the right number or the results could be disastrous. Then again... no, don't go there), by the end of the day you'll both be dying to leave work. Try a massage when you get home and build up to masturbation and other forms of stimulation.

The main thing is not to leave it out. There's a lot to be said for the 'quickie' and it has its place, but a long, lingering session is far more pleasurable.